"Forgiven"
First given July 20, 1997, Middlebrook Pike UMC Contemporary Worship Service
Veer McCoy was setting tables for the Wednesday night supper at her
church when a neighbor rushed in with the bad news: Vera’s 38-year-old son had been
shot.
When she got to the hospital, she found out just how bad the news was.
Vera, who had lost a husband to cancer, a younger child to muscular dystrophy, had now
lost her son, Mark.
It happened in McAlester, Oklahoma.
It could have happened in Knoxville.
In fact, similar events do happen in Knoxville.
Mark and his wife were separated and Wendy, his estranged wife, had been
living at her parents’ home.
She and her father Charles argued.
Wendy’s mother called Mark to come over and intervene, but the
argument only extended to involve Mark.
The father reached for a gun and fired at Mark through the screen door.
Vera taught Sunday School for years and understood the spiritual
principles of forgiveness.
But now, she couldn’t forgive.
How COULD she forgive the man who took away her dear son?
The trial came and Charles was found guilty of murder.
The sentence: Ten years in prison ... the prison where Vera tutored
inmates.
Vera continued to tutor, but dreaded the possibility of running into
Charles.
She spent many sleepless nights.
Unforgiveness will rob you of sleep; it will rob you of good health ...
physical health, as doctors warn us of the varying tolls that stress takes on our body.
Unforgiveness can lead to a wide range of negative emotions:
- Frustration, anxiety, fear and worry;
- Discouragement, depression, hopelessness;
- Anger, uncontrolled temper, rage, bitterness, hatred, hostility;
- Resentment and strife.
It’s no secret that these emotions can lead to high blood pressure,
stroke, ulcers and migraines, just to name a few. Undoubtedly a physician would tell us
research has lengthened the list of stress-related illnesses.
But of greater consequence is the Spiritual toll that unforgiveness can
take.
Jesus promises us divine forgiveness, saying in Matthew 6:14, "if
you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive
you."
Elsewhere, in 1 John 1:9, he says, "If we confess our sins, He is
faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all
unrighteousness."
What a blessing from the Father! We, who in our sin were enemies of God,
are made in right standing through His son, Jesus Christ, who promises us forgiveness.
Grace.
Unmerited favor.
It is only fitting that as disciples we are commanded to do the same.
It is only understandable that failure to do so takes its toll.
Billy was 12 years old when his stepfather Jim began the beatings ...
beating not the boy, but Billy’s mother.
The worst beating came one night when Jim had the woman on the ground in
the doorway to their bedroom.
Kicking her.
Repeatedly.
Billy thought, "If I could get to the gun, I’d put an end to
the beatings … and Jim."
But he didn’t.
He couldn’t.
Perhaps it was the fear of Jim; perhaps it was the fear of other
consequences.
Eventually, Billy’s mother left Jim.
And the beatings.
But Billy never forgot, nor could he forgive.
Billy’s older sister got pregnant and married Jeff while in high
school.
She later said it was to get some stability in her life.
Fifteen years later Jeff left her.
Billy was 28 when that happened.
And he couldn’t understand how the man who married his sister so
long ago could now say he never loved her to begin with.
To his amazement, Billy discovered that Jeff was doing business with a
friend of his former stepfather. He was told Jeff was even socializing with the man who
had beaten Billy's mother.
As he sat at the kitchen table one night, the spirit of unforgiveness
had grown until it formed into the monster of hate.
And a plan developed.
He would drive the 300 miles, kill the two of them and return home the
next day.
"Forgive as the Lord forgave you," we are commanded in
Colossians.
When we say the Lord’s prayer, sometimes called the Disciple’s
prayer, we plead, "Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors."
The Disciple’s prayer is the confession of a believer.
Not some unregenerate pagan.
The forgiveness of sin is always by God’s grace.
His unmerited favor.
Favor that can never be earned.
Favor based on Christ’s atonement.
His death on the cross.
Our sin paid for by His blood.
Most of us tend to forget a significant caveat about three verses later:
"But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not
forgive your sins," Jesus says in Matthew 6:15.
Hard words from our Lord.
But then he knows the damage that unforgiveness can bring.
Physically.
But more important, Spiritually.
The case of a believer confessing his sin and asking God’s
forgiveness while refusing to forgive is hypocritical.
It is a denial of discipleship.
An unforgiving spirit is sin and must be confessed.
But forgiveness MUST be intentional; for at times we cannot find it in
ourselves to forgive.
Vera, who taught the principles of forgiveness in Sunday School, could
not find it in herself to forgive the man who killed her dear son.
Billy, who 16 years later still found his memories seared with the
images of his mother being beaten, could not find it within him to forgive the men who
hurt his dear sister and mother.
But Vera found another way
A way she had known all along.
Eventually, Vera came to grips with the reality that her son's life,
which had been often in turmoil, had been ended in tragedy
But that he was now at peace.
And her life was anything but at peace.
She came to an awareness, she says: God made it known that she should
pray for Charles, the killer.
"I can’t, Lord," she said. "Mark was my only
son."
In that still small voice, God said, "But I gave My only Son for
you."
With that reminder, Vera’s prayers lead to forgiveness
And forgiveness lead to reconciliation.
Forgiveness MUST be intentional; an act of our will.
But we can not do it on our own. The only way we can do so is through
the forgiveness we received from Jesus Christ and the power of His Holy Spirit.
What happened to Billy, you might ask.
Well, the pseudonym "Billy" stands before you today as Buzz.
The night when sin was conceived in my mind was a night that I later
looked back upon. I found it was a time that God used to opened my eyes to how the devil
uses unforgiveness to hatch greater sin.
To further separate us from the love of the Father.
That event occurred just weeks before I committed my life to Christ.
Both of those men have been forgiven, as an act of my will, and through
the power of God’s Holy Spirit who lives within me.
Nothing else within me had that power; for in and of myself I am
nothing.
Father God, as an act of our will and through the power of your Holy
Spirit, we CAN forgive those who
have hurt us -- committed sin against us -- just as we have sinned against you. Forgive
us, oh God, have mercy on us through your grace.
Amen.
The Rev. Frank
"Buzz" Trexler is managing editor at The Daily Times and pastor
of Green Meadow United Methodist Church, wwwthemeadow.org. You can e-mail
him at PastorBuzz@nxs.net.
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